BEING MERCENARY

Written by Afrikachef

 Bon Jovi said it best with these lyrics…”A Gypsy Lost in the Twilight Zone”! It’s a perfect way to describe the life of a Mercenary Chef. The soul of a gypsy and the realization that you may find yourself working in the “Twilight Zone” are essential ingredients to stomaching this free and crazy lifestyle.

The life of a Mercenary is perfect for us commit-a-phobic individuals who learn their jobs quickly and get bored easily. Personally, I need a change of venue often to keep myself satisfied. I get restless in a confined and secure position. After years of changing jobs often and trying to explain my transient nature to prospective employers, I realized that I had to create a paradigm shift in the way I looked for work.

Thanks to the internet, I discovered a whole world out there where seasonal chef assignments were just waiting for me. In other words, the world was my oyster and I couldn’t wait to shuck it!

Finally there were legitimate excuses for my ever changing jobs and my resume now reads that I am a “Freelance Chef” working world wide. Basically, self-employed and my own person. Freedom and liberation are essential to my happiness.

The upside of being a Mercenary is having the opportunity to work in exotic and remote locations around the world. The downside is, let’s just say, frightening.

My work, as a Mercenary, has taken me to a Buddhist Temple on the Big Island, to the glitter and glamour of Las Vegas and to the peace and majestic beauty of Yellowstone. Being a freelance chef helped me to experience “Rocky Mountain Highs” and to discover the crème de la crème…working at the most prime game viewing safari destination in all of Africa.

When working at these world class destinations, I make sure to take the time to experience local attractions first hand. After six long months working at the safari camp, I chose to do some white water rafting on the Lower Zambezi River, considered one of, if not the most, extreme white water rafting experiences in the world. The next day I swam at the edge of Victoria Falls.

While working at a ranch in Montana, I spent my days off hiking the back country of Yellowstone. In Las Vegas I experienced the craziness of the “Strip” everyday, enduring several New Years Eve celebrations that could only be described as insane.

The Hawaii gig allowed me to stand on a live volcano at the southern most tip of the United States. And while in Florida I got to enjoy Disneyworld and the beautiful Atlantic Ocean beaches.

In Alaska, I got to travel through the Inside Passage, watch humpback whales breaching, bald eagles soaring and massive halibut being pulled into the fishing boats. The sun never set.

I think you get the idea, working as a Mercenary Chef has its advantages, especially if you are someone who appreciates nature and wild life.

To do this kind of work successfully, one must be comfortable living in far removed and remote locations. Not that all Mercenary jobs are remote, but many of the best ones are.

So the downside comes from the fact that you rarely, if ever, get to see the kitchens or meet the boss man prior to traveling half way around the world.

Accepting chef jobs in this manner is not for the faint of heart or the prima donna culinarian. This is where the “Twilight Zone” description comes in. Often times, you accept and arrange for these jobs months in advance. Emails fly between you and your new boss, the owner/ manager seem really nice and you can’t wait to get to your new assignment. You may even spend hours of your own time creating menus and shopping lists in order to appear cooperative and enthusiastic.

It has been my experience though, that often times, the new boss / manager / owner turns out to be difficult, arrogant or unappreciative. Other times you get lucky and the people you answer to are nice and cooperative.

Sometimes the staff you work with are really young and focused more on quitting time then getting the food out and cleaning the kitchen. Easy access to mass quantities of alcohol and drugs is the norm and isn’t a bad thing for some of you, but can be really detrimental to others.

I am an intense and serious chef. Don’t get me wrong, I like to have fun, listen to music and dance in the kitchen, joke around and be lighthearted when it is appropriate. What I despise and dislike immensely is working with individuals who don’t take their jobs seriously, who try to get by with doing as little as possible or who lie and cheat. That goes for the boss man as well (they can be truly evil at times). My boss at the safari camp was so tight with his money that he counted every single egg that I cracked for breakfast! Ugh! He had his own chickens so the eggs didn’t cost him anything. Please, please, I beg of you, just let me do my thing, I promise the food will be wonderful and the guests will be ecstatic.

Obviously, I don’t like to be micro-managed, if I wanted that kind of control over my work, I would be working for a Hilton or Marriott, or would be back in the corporate environment that I endured in Las Vegas.

Point being, working as a Mercenary Chef is for those culinary professionals who march to their own drummer, want to travel to strange and exotic locations and who want short term assignments so they can move on to another new and exciting destination on a regular basis.

Since a Mercenary rarely knows in advance what kind of living arrangements or cooking environment they are facing, I have developed a check list of criteria that are deal makers or breakers. Since everyone is different, I wouldn’t presume that my list would work for you and highly recommend that you develop criteria and boundaries that are important and vital to your own contentment and happiness.

For instance, I won’t share a room or bathroom with co-workers. If a job requires me to do so, I pass on that particular opportunity. And, after experiencing the unpleasant aspect of working with teenagers, I won’t be accepting jobs where young workers are involved. However, these things may not be deal breakers for you. If, for instances, you are a chef in your 20’s, then sharing a room and working with a young wait staff might not bother you.

I also require internet access, as most of you would, so be sure that you have a clear understanding of what kind of access is available to you. If you don’t possess your own laptop, will the lodge have a computer available for you to use? Don’t be deceived by a “yes” answer because often times, the manager will need to be on the computer all day and you won’t have a chance to get on. At the safari camp, the only time I could get on-line was if the manager was away from camp.

My solid advice is that if you do become a Mercenary Chef be sure to invest in your own laptop, your life will be so much easier. But be sure that there is some internet access for you to tap into. When I went to work at the fishing lodge in Alaska, I was told there was internet access only to find out it was a dial-up connection which wasn’t always available. I ended up paying the local bar to access their wi-fi and had to go to another location, outside the lodge, just to read my email. It wasn’t always convenient.

It’s also a good idea to have a digital camera to create a photo journal of your experiences and of your fabulous creations. It helps when applying for new jobs and gives you something to look back on in your old age.

In Africa, the kitchen was full of spiders, ants, snakes and geckos. If you can’t tolerate vermin and bugs, then it wouldn’t be a good situation for you. I don’t even want to think of how many ants the guests consumed over the course of a day. They were everywhere! Basically, understand what your tolerance levels are and go from there.

Other things to consider…

Does the kitchen have easy access to the outdoors, does it have windows, is it easy to work in, is there plenty of refrigeration? What is the point of being in a beautiful location and not be able to see it from the kitchen.

PJ has a great suggestion, have the manager send a few photos of the kitchen before accepting the job; it prevents unpleasant surprises upon your arrival. This is especially important if you have just traveled for 2 days to get to the place only to discover a frightening and dirty environment.

Like I have said, this work isn’t for the faint of heart. You must be an adventurous individual, independent and a self starter. Often times you will have accepted a job on the fly because the previous chef didn’t work out. You’ll find yourself stepping into a stressful situation where you arrive one day and fifty VIP guests arrive the next. Needless to say, the pressure is on and it is times like these that separate the men from the boys (or girls, whatever applies).

Being a veteran chef is what has gotten me through many tough situations out in the field, a beginner won’t always have the skills to step in and operate a kitchen single handed, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner for the masses. Personally, I like it, but once again, it isn’t for everyone.

A Mercenary Chef, working at a guest lodge, needs to possess not only superior culinary skills but also must be highly organized, work neatly, be flexible, able to sustain long periods on their feet and, most importantly, smooze well with the guests. You have to be okay when guests and visitors wonder through the kitchen all day long. The biggest beef a manager or owner has is when the chef is unpleasant to their guests or is uncooperative regarding the never ending intrusions into the kitchen. Requests for recipes are a constant so I usually respond with our motto…”Recipes are for Housewives”! It always brings a laugh; then I end up sharing the formula anyway.

My advice to anyone just starting out on this crazy lifestyle is to know your skill levels, never misrepresent yourself, know your boundaries and ask tons of questions.

Put your stuff into storage because you won’t make any money if you have to pay for an apartment that you never live in. This is when family comes in handy so you have a place to land while traveling from one place to the next. It also helps if you are single because there aren’t too many jobs that allow you to bring a spouse or significant other. Occasionally that happens, but not often. Besides, tantalizing temptations are around every corner and leaving someone behind just spells trouble!

As for myself, I can’t begin to count the numerous times I have said to my friends that I am ready to retire and to shoot me if I take another chef position! But, alas, it is what I do and who I am, it’s in my blood. After all, you can’t expect a leopard to change its spots.

But sometimes things happen you don’t expect. Like working at an excellent job you really like, then falling off a mule and breaking your ankle, having surgery, loosing your job and being out of commission for 3 months.

That is where I’m at right now, in recovery and licking my wounds. Fortunately, I’ve obtained a temporary position over the holidays, hoping and praying that my ankle has healed enough to endure the 14 hour days that I know are looming in my future.

If security and having a regular paycheck is your thing, then don’t go Mercenary.

So now I have the Super Bowl and Fiesta Bowl to look forward. I’ve managed to sign up with a food service company that is hiring workers for those big events. After that, who knows, maybe a yacht job or one on a sunny, desolate island. The possibilities are endless.

My friends envy me for my lifestyle and all the traveling; many people say they live vicariously through me. But I remind them that my life is based on insecurity and the unknown, never sure where to go next, constantly seeking new opportunities, hoping they will turn out well. Once again, not for the faint of heart.

I used to have a sticker on my bathroom mirror that said…”The Definition Of A Journey Is Getting From Point A to Point B Without A Map”! That’s my motto and I’m sticking to it!

Besides, I can’t wait to put the Super Bowl experience onto my resume, it’s icing on the cake, the top prize for having lived as a “gypsy lost in the twilight zone”!

PUT YOUR BOOTS ON!